why do you live in berlin

i like to meet and talk to people in berlin, that were born in berlin and want to die here.

last night i found out that berlin's nickname is also called "little paris". when i asked Mélanie, if she wants to die in berlin, she said "I don't think I want to die here, but I think I want to at least try to get German citizenship before I leave. This way I can come back anytime - here or anywhere else in Europe." she has been working in berlin as a translator for 8 years. will new berlin be the old paris. last night he mention "little paris" with a sense of pride, and a hint of nostalgia. i want to ask wolfgang kohlhasses that same question, why are you in berlin? i wonder how he will answer it.

last weekend in leipzig, bettina told me how wondering it is to have so many old buildings. the buildings are used to screen films, as dance halls, places of social interaction and so on. she does not like berlin, because it is not the same in berlin for her, those buildings are not lived spaces, they are commercial. last night i mentioned the photo exhibit by atget to mr. "little paris", and asked him about the reconstruction of berlin after the 50's. the sense pride in him, turns into mixed of nostalgia and questions never asked before. how long will berlin exist as "little paris", until it fades away like paris, like, rome? then becoming a musuem of itself?

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when berliners ask me why i am in berlin, i tell them that i am a student at humboltd and am studying berlin and cinema, and the historical interaction between the two. they are the not interested until i tell them that i want to write a poem in german. then i tell them about ingeborg bachamnn, maybe then about brecht, celan, trakl, rilke, and so on. and from there it goes on... the people that i have met in berlin have treated me very well, and the poem will be for them, as well as for myself.

i hope i can complete it, i have been learning german for a month now, and it takes me half an hour to write one paragraph. from now on i will try to write in german as much as i can.

the poem will be written all in german, it will be worked out in my head, it will not be written down in english. i will work it out in german.

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bettina got mad at me last week, she said if i want to learn german, why am i living with americans? i agree with. if i live in berlin, i should live with berliners, not the tourist and sojourners. i would also like to meet people many immigrants like my father, who worked and bled into the land so much that it is apart of him. where will he die? danke schoen.