how does it feel to be a memory

i went with danny to daemond's house a while back for a poetry workshop. the prop that daemond came up with is to write about an old woman confronting the death of her husband, and having to confront it again. one of the lines, i came up with is "how does it feel like a memory", which they both liked very much. it was one of the only poetry workshop i have ever been to, and one of the few times in my life that i tried to write a poem. daemond is now married, i was at his wedding three days before boarding the plane to berlin, danny is touring the us.

two questions that i asked many people in our group are
"why did you come to berlin" and "what do you expect to do in berlin".

when i was asked that question, i answered that my quest was to marry a smart, rich beautiful, loving european woman, get eu citizenship. truth is, i want to move to virginia and marry heather pooh. chessa said that the reason i can't have a good relationship is that pooh bear is kumi. pooh bear is not kumi, pooh bear is pooh bear. i have many memories of both pooh bear and kumi, but i sleep with pooh bear every night, not kumi. i rarely ever think about kumi, although i am constantly reminded of her, as when i walked around see all the bears in berlin, and of how happy she'll be to see those bears, especially the bronze statue with a dozen bears playing with each other. i wonder how pooh bear feels about it, he was excited at first, but now is hesitant to answer. chessa asked me why i am not with kumi, and i asked chessa to go out with me. and we walked around a little bit, but not much more, she has gone to amsterdam.

(ed is sitting next to me, and he is playing ipod and remembering when he first got it, because memory is in the object.)

if you are a memory kumi, where do you exist? pooh is too much of pooh to be you.

i do not know why i am in berlin, the decision was based on a whim, and as to what i plan to do, i want to write a poem, and maybe dedicate it to you-